Swirling Thoughts

Sometimes I encounter things in my life that leave me feeling very unsettled. I hate the feeling that something else has the ability to leave me in this mood. I sit and stew for hours about things that probably don't matter, but I can't seem to get them off my mind. I heard a song today that made me feel like this and now it won't leave me alone... I don't know why it hit me so hard. Maybe I'm just tired...


You know how there are all of those rules in society that are pretty much unspoken, but you still have to follow them? Do you ever just want to break one just for fun? Just to feel a little bit...liberated?

Yeah, me too...


Late-night Milkshakes

Why is it that we are drawn to food that is bad for us? What is it about fat and grease that makes it so hard to resist? Like ice cream? It's just sugar mixed in frozen milk fat... Or French fries? Potatoes are hardly nutritious in the first place, but then we slice and fry them in hot oil until all that is left is a crunchy exterior coated in vegetable fat.

As I ponder the food that I enjoy eating--the food that makes me feel good when I'm sad and the food that I crave when I'm hungry--it's really just all different flavors of fat. The 'healthy' food that I do enjoy, like salad for instance, I first adulterate by adding fat to it...probably so I won't overdose on good-for-me.

Every now and then I make a goal to eat healthier, but then I remember that I like junk food. And besides, I'll only be young [with a fast metabolism] why not make the most of it?

You know what's really good is when you dip your fries in your ice cream...


Cliff Diving

Sometimes I feel like I'm at a point in my life where I'm standing at the edge of a cliff. I have no idea what is at the bottom, but the only other place to go is backwards, and I already know what's back there. The only logical thing to do at this point is to take the plunge, yet how is jumping off a cliff logical? Or reasonable? Why am I even considering this option? If i take the plunge, I know it will change my life forever...but I don't even know if I want change...change is scary. Maybe I will just hang out here on the edge of this cliff forever.

But it seems wrong to just stagnate, to just sit here because it's comfortable, because it's easier than moving forward into the unknown. I just want someone to tell me what's waiting down there. I could handle it, I know I could...if only I could know what 'it' was.

Sometimes the choice to move forward seems like it's not really my choice at all.

I know that progressing is the best choice. In the end, I'm sure I'll be glad that I jumped into the open and let myself free fall into the future...but it's still hard standing here trying to find the nerve to leap.


Pi Day

Have you ever wondered about those guys like Archimedes? You know those guys who had enough time and energy to do enough math problems that they found random patterns... like for instance, the circumference of a circle is always 3.1415926535… times the length of its diameter. Or like Newton...the guy who invented calculus...I have a hard enough time learning calculus; it is completely beyond me how one would go about inventing it. [Newton also discovered gravity...but it's a bit mystifying to me that no one noticed it until the 1600s... How can you not notice gravity?]

Today [3.14] is 'pi day' in honor of Archimedes and his accomplishments...or maybe just because pie tastes good and we all look for excuses to indulge ourselves as often as possible. Whatever the reason, I am making a peach and raspberry pie tonight, and it is going to be delicious!

3.13.2009 I have a blog...

I went to a baseball game tonight with Julie. We froze for almost four hours in the stands...but there really isn't anything quite like the All-American Pastime, so it was completely worth it.

After the game, we came home and drank hot chocolate down in our room. We were talking about how nice it would be to have a place to just write down thoughts and we made blogs. Now we both feel pretty legit.

I never thought I would do this, because I don't really have anything that interesting, insightful, or important to say. My musings might be mundane, but they are my own and now I have a place to share them.